Coping With Miscarriage

1. You are not alone.  According to the Mayo Clinic, 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. By reaching out to other moms you know, you may find support from women who have experience with what you’re feeling. You might also look online to find advice, information, and support from other moms. The Bump.com has a whole library of articles about miscarriage, including personal experiences, what to expect, and how to cope.
2. You are not to blame. We mama-bears want to believe we have complete control over the nurture and well-being of our babies from the moment we see the plus sign on the stick. When a pregnancy is lost, many women secretly wonder if they did something to cause it. Most often, miscarriages have nothing to do with a mother’s actions. They are a natural biological mechanism that occurs when a fetus isn’t developing as it should. Most miscarriages result from chromosomal abnormalities that happen by chance as cells divide, not because of your actions, or even your genetics.
3. You can move past the sadness. There is no “one-size-fits-all” way of handling miscarriage. Some women feel deeply saddened, while others take comfort in the soundness of nature’s biological process. If you are having trouble moving past the sadness, you might consider doing something that will bring a sense of closure to the event. Write a note to your unborn little one or have a small ceremony to mark his or her life.
4. Your future is bright.  A miscarriage can make you worry about your ability to successfully carry a pregnancy to term… especially if you’ve had more than one. If you’re concerned about the future, talk to your doctor to find out if he or she sees any reason to worry. More than 80% of women who have had multiple miscarriages go on to have successful pregnancies. So do your best to relax. Treat yourself to a bubble bath. Give your partner a massage. Your future is looking good.

Have you had a miscarriage? More than one? Did you tell people, or keep it to yourself? What did you do to cope? Lots of love to all of our mamas out there who have been touched by miscarriage.