How to decide who you want to be as a mom
Sometimes I can’t remember what really makes me happy, what I really want to accomplish in life, and what I’m working towards. I mean, I'm a mom, wife, business owner, and so you think those titles would be enough to keep me satisfied, but sometimes during the day to day quiet moments I start to feel crazy, like "What am I doing with my life?" Do you ever do that? I think as a mom or caretaker, it is especially challenging to not have these moments when you question yourself because your life is so much less structured than it was in a corporate or scholastic setting. No grades, no performance reviews, no boss looking over your shoulder saying, "Good work!"
So, this is what I do . . . are you ready? I imagine my funeral. Gruesome, right? Just hang with me. I think, “What would I want people to say about me at my funeral? Who would I want there? What do I want it to feel like?” Asking these questions reminds me what I really value, because when all is said and done I value some things more than others and those are the things that make me me. And what makes me me is where I should be spending my time every day; it is how I am able to be myself.
So now you want to know what my funeral will be like, don’t you? (Or what I hope it will be like . . . And yes, you are totally invited.) This whole “live like you want your funeral to be like” idea came to me after attending my great Aunt Leola Green Merrill’s funeral while I was a sophomore in college. She had four kids, and they all had a million children who were darling, well dressed, educated, and well spoken. At Leola’s funeral the church was packed with people who loved Leola and remembered her for her outspoken wit and dedication her the arts, her faith and family. They remembered the loving things she did and said, such as how she would call people at church when they got a new assignment to tell them how great they would be. Darling, right? Why don’t I do that? Or how she would invite the neighborhood kids over to rehearse their speaking parts for church programs. People also mentioned things like what a fabulous public speaker she was and how in love she and her husband were.
I decided right then that I wanted a funeral just like Leola’s, and so I had better start living in a way that would help me be the type of person who leaves a legacy like the one of my Aunt Leola. So when I feel like “I don’t even know who I am!” I think of my funeral and I think, “Am I a woman who reaches out to my local community on a level that is meaningful to them? Am I a committed wife and mom? Do I use my talents in a way that helps benefit others?” Then those are the things that I work on every day because that is what I want to be—that is who I want to become. And whether or not we are who we want to eventually be, if we keep our priorities in check every single day, and work hard we will one day be there.
Do you ever struggle knowing where to place your energy? Has that been especially challenging for you since you have had children? What has helped you stay focused on your end goals?
I would love to hear from you below!
P.S. This is one of the many installments in our #tubbytoddsoapbox series. This series is intended to do the exact same thing as our Tubby Todd products — they're meant to help you love and nurture your little ones! Each post focuses on the best way to take care of yourself as a parent because I whole heartedly believe that when we are taking care of ourselves we will be more capable of taking care of our little ones.