The week after James was born I was home alone, recovering from a c-section when I decided he needed his first bath. James was my third child and I sent my mom who was staying with me away for the afternoon because I was positive I had everything under control. I picked James up to walk to the bathroom when I had extremely embarrassing thought come into my mind. The thought was, "Wait, how do I bathe a newborn? I need my mom to come back!" Ha! This was my third baby, and oh don't forget... I OWN a bath company. But still, I somehow felt intimidated and overwhelmed by bathing this new, precious package all by myself. It was a humbling moment and one when I realized that in every step as a mom, no matter how many kids you have, and no matter what stage of life you're in most things will feel new and even a little bit scary. You love these little ones so much and sometimes that love pushes you to a fear that you might be doing something wrong.
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about your role as a mother I hope you remember that you were meant for this role. Whenever I'm feeling inadequate in my role as a mother, it is really helpful for me to stop and focus on what I am actually working towards. I would argue that feelings of inadequacy have little to do with our capabilities and are usually directly correlated to an expectation we have imposed on ourselves. Let's ask- "Do I have an unobtainable standard I have set for myself and my little ones that we are not meeting?" If so, then let's replace that standard with a realistic goal of day-to-day work and progress that will lead to success for everyone. And of course, remember, that when it comes to raising children- they are like little lunatics (they really are, aren't they? Cute lunatics.) with their own idea on how things should go, and usually things don't go like we planned, right? Right!Â
What does being a "good mom" look like to me right now? To me, being a good mom looks and feels like more focused time spent with my kids and less regrets and negative energy spent thinking about what type of mom I should be or wish I was. To me, being a better mom is accepting my situation- whatever stage of life I'm in and working to make it the very best for me and my family. To me, being a better mom is realizing that at the end of the day all that matters is that my kids know how much I truly love them and that I am working on being the best me, everyday trying to learn and grow a little bit more. You mama, are an incredible mom. You were meant for this- and your little one is lucky to call you theirs.
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xx
Andrea
